SMG 2011: Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night

2 = Average Participation (No Citation Awarded)

I wasn’t going to bother with a review of this ultimately forgettable quest item about a New Orleans supernatural private eye, but when I discovered the film opened on 875 screens and grossed a paltry $863 per screen (HERE), I feel somewhat obligated to say something on its behalf since I did contribute to this very low box office take.

Based on the Italian horror comic, “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night” deals with the exploits of a supernatural investigator (Brandon Routh) as he roams the undead world of the Big Easy in an effort to unravel the mystery of several strange deaths at the hands of a werewolf.  It seems that vampires, zombies, and werewolves are very real and live right under our noses, with Dylan acting as a human mediator when one or more parties step out of line.

If you’re feeling a vague sense of Déjà vu regarding this stale material, you’re certainly not alone.  Here’s a partial list where you might have seen “Dylan Dog” before:

The X-Files
The Dresden Files
Charmed
Kolchak: The Night Stalker
John Constantine: HellBlazer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Sadly, all of the above properties are better than “Dylan Dog,” which despite a $20 million budget still reeks of a direct to DVD release (where it would have probably done better).  

Since his appearance as the Man of Steel in “Superman Returns,” Brandon Routh’s career has been forever tarnished in future projects.  It’s nearly impossible not to think of Superman when he’s onscreen, and his Christopher Reeve mannerisms border on unsettling.  He’s woefully miscast in a role that was probably better suited to someone like Nicholas Cage or Rainn Wilson.

Taye Diggs turns up as a gold fanged vampire villain who’s given little more to do than walk through scenes and collect a paycheck.  The same goes for the talented Peter Stormare as a werewolf patriarch, who probably was added to the cast for his turn as Satan in another comic book to film adaption called “Constantine.”  

Only Sam Huntington (ironically also from “Superman Returns”) as Dylan’s zombie sidekick seems to be enjoying himself amidst the low budget material, and if wasn’t for his sense of humor, “Dylan Dog” wouldn’t have any pulse at all (pun intended).  Director Kevin Munroe (“TMNT”) seems better suited to directing CGI turtles than he is at human beings.

The film never settles on a proper tone, and as a result the actors (as well as the audience) are unsure how to react to the material.  It’s billed as an action/comedy, but there’s not much action, and very little comedy.  

On the flip side, “Dylan Dog” does hold a certain charm for its low budget approach, reminiscent of a late summer 80’s release that you’d settle on when the film you really wanted to see was sold out (hence the 2 rating).  The prosthetic makeup effects are of the haunted house variety (bordering on hysterically bad), the CGI is of laptop quality, and the two fisted, film noir action scenes often make little sense. 

“Dylan Dog: Dead of Night” might be two viewings away from being a cult classic, but it certainly doesn’t belong in the theater.  The days of low budget schlock hold no place amongst the big budget, product placement films of today, and are better suited for smaller audiences who can embellish guilty pleasures such as this in the comfort of their own homes and not suffer from embarrassment when leaving a public theater.

For the record, there were probably about 10 people total in my screening.  At six bucks a pop (early show), that’s sixty dollars towards the $863 per screen at my local cinema.  Maybe I should have brought a friend.

“Deeds, not words…”